This is the first of a multipart series on “Bipolar Irritability,” a descriptor I am using to refer to a deadly cocktail of depression, anxiety, and agitation. The video clip attempts to convey what it is like to experience this combination, primarily through sound. Some viewers won’t understand terminology or why this mood is hellish and important, so I've added a beginner's primer to mixed mood states and the result of combining depression and anxiety.
When I am moderately to severely depressed, my brain is mushy enough that I have trouble remembering how to take care of myself. So I keep a list on hand to remind myself what to do when I'm in trouble. When I've done everything I can, then I cry uncle and ask for drugs, but before that point I need to rely on these antidepressants.