Category Bipolar health
Healing and transcendence of bipolar disorder. What does that mean? I have come to realize that for me “healing and transcendence” means that my life is now no longer centered around bipolar disorder. I was blessed with a wicked case of it. And bipolar disorder has seemed all-consuming at many points of my life. But I do not want to die that way. It will still be there. I will never get away from taking lithium. But it is no longer a vortex at the center of this life. There are more important things for me to focus upon and do.
The extreme sides of the political divide have been predicting almost cataclysmic disaster if the election results do not go their way. But listening to extremism can arouse feelings of hopelessness and create the perception that our situation is not safe. If we do not think that we have any impact on a dangerous situation we can feel helpless, depressed, and even give up.
For the last couple of weeks I have been seriously out of whack. To try to describe my current experience I began with bobbleheads dolls, a useful analogy for my current experience. All of us respond to whack on the head, but some of us more easily respond to a blow, are thrown out of equilibrium more severely, and it takes us longer to back into balance. But then, in trying to find a video which illustrates this, I ran into a huge pocket of bobblehead culture and veered almost totally off-topic.
It sucks when you are under major stress and the powers that be have a video conference and decide to mess with your head. One of them turns to the other and giggles, “Let’s niggle her a bit by adding a sideways, nerve wracking stressor on top of the pile.” And another power nods emphatically in agreement, “She can take it! Let’s sit back and watch! Where’s the popcorn!”
I bought a hummingbird feeder recently. It warms my heart to give these little guys with the manic wings some sugar water and the chance to take a load off. I have fluttered my wings a million miles a minute, but to ill effect. So I chose a feeder where they can sit quietly, dipping their beaks into the syrup and resting for a while where they feel unthreatened. This reminds of the blurred speed in my manic episodes and the fact that the fastest way to induce a manic episode (in someone wired that way) is to seriously threaten them.
With bipolar disorder, whenever you feel strongly compelled to do something, truly inspired to pursue a relationship, salivate over a potential purchase — just don’t. That way lies danger. And the reverse – when you feel like you can’t live one moment longer, if you don’t have the energy to get out of bed, and when you genuinely do not care about brushing your teeth or even world peace, it is time to get up and out of the chair and out the front door.