Manic superpowers

 If there is manic-depression in the next generation I fear that it lies in wait for a particular nephew. There is nothing that I know of which is worst to fear than bipolar disorder for an adolescent boy/ young man. That age group and gendet seem to do the worst with the psychological problems of beginning to deal with the disorder.

 

How is a normal, healthy teenage boy with all of the insecurities that entails supposed to resist the siren of mania? I watched my youngest brother succumb to it, getting hospitalized in three different states over the course of two months in a pretty impressive mania. Meanwhile my teeth were clenched and I was grieving all the while.

 

Who wants to live as Clark Kent when there are superpowers available?

 

16-03-1-super-bipolar

 

This weekend I could not find the T-shirt that I wanted for my nephew’s Christmas present. I actually spent many hours trying to track it down. That’s an example of the hyperfocus that goes with my variant of this disorder. But none of them were good enough — that is an example of the perfectionism that goes with this imperfect variant of me.

 

I really liked the design in my head and it wasn’t being produced. So I created it on my own using online tools. I used Zazzle. Totally cool – we can all do that now and it is remarkably inexpensive to do. So here is the design.

 

16-02-6-we-harness-energy-and-shape-reality

 

This image is from a movie that came out in December, Doctor Strange. I am a Benedict fan and really like the Marvel movies and TV shows that are coming out. I am not a fan of comic books or of this particular literature, the Marvel comic book Doctor Strange. But my friend Kevyn has loved the comic book since he was a kid and talked me into going to see the movie. It turned out to be great fun and a visual extravaganza. I recommend it for computer geeks, the metaphysically minded, and the graphic artists in the crowd.

 

 The terrifying and tantalizing thing about manic superpowers is that they are in part real. I went 10 days without sleep — sincerely, don’t try that at home. At 115 pounds it took 10 orderlies to hold me down to the bed where they injected me with something nefarious (they were much too gleeful about succeeding for it to have been totally benign). When I was loony tunes manic I didn’t make a lot of sense and was not productive. But when I was hypomanic I dazzled. For better and worse I was in a hypomanic state for more than 20 years, according to the doctors. I have seen people who were manic that could talk others into almost anything.

 

Seductive. And very destructive to me, to my bank account, and to those I love.

 

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